Guy: You want some pancakes?
Girl: No, cause the syrup makes me shit.
Guy: What?! Nobody wanna here that shit now!
I do know women love to go to the bathroom before they go out so their stomachs can be flatter. You ever had a girl friend who can't leave the house until she poops.
Friend: Come on girl lets go!
Girl: Not yet, one more cup of hot tea and I'll be good to go.
Friend: Why?
Girl: Cause I wear a size 8 but I brought a size 6 so I definitely have to drop the kids off the swimming pool otherwise I'm gonna look pregnant in my 'freak 'em dress'.
You don't want to talk about it before or after sex. The thought of her sliding a nice white thong into the same ass she just finish saying she just took a shit out of is not very appealing.
All you can think about is skid marks on that white thong.
My Friend Is Full Of Crap!
A friend and I were talking about health and she revealed to me that
she only poops once every 2 weeks. I said "you ONLY poop once every two weeks?" That's only 2 poops a month, or 24 poops per year!!! In a defensive tone she said "what are you saying... that's normal!
It's disgusting to DO IT everyday!" I said "
It's more disgusting NOT TO do it everyday! You're full of crap and it's not a good look (on the inside)"
Not to be nasty or more disgusting, I asked her "how does your poop come out? Is it a lot or a little?" She said, "...not much at all. About two little tiny ball sizes." OK let's assume you eat 3 meals a day x 7 days x 2 weeks;
That's 42 meals sitting in your system because only two little golf ball sizes came out.
The food is basically rotting inside your belly. Hence "You're full of crap!" (No pun intended)
Put it this way, when you throw food away in the garbage the house will start to stink within a day or two. So after you accumulated two weeks of garbage and you only discard 2 hand-fulls of that garbage the house will continue to stink.
Think of your body as an unplugged refrigerator; The remaining foods in your system will rot quickly. Lets take it a step further, if you leave food on the counter for days at a time, tiny bugs will start to form on it. This is because
toxins are building up, parasites and worms are chilling, and having a party in your stomach, intestines, & colon! I joked and said "when guys go down on you they're also eating your left-overs from weeks ago. They're getting a full meal on your ass. That's why after sex they're never hungry but go to the bathroom instead."
I know that was nasty but I was trying to make my point of how nasty NOT dumping your dump out & just letting it stack up like a sewer can be. You should poop about 3 times a day or a least once a day.
If you're balling
schedule a colonoscopy. But if you're financially challenge stick to
eating things like fiber, probiotics (yogurt, kefir) and drink lots of water.
Food for thought: It's just as important to exfoliate your insides as it is to exfoliate your outside. How about you try and give your insides a facial on a "regular" basis.
According to Dr. Oz "
If you are not getting enough water or fiber, it can take you 100 hours to digest your food, which is bad for you because the food is essentially rotting in your belly during that time."
-I'm about take the browns to the super bowl
-Drop the kids off at the swimming pool
-I'm about to lose 5 pounds
-Putting some brownies in the oven.
-Going to the sandbox.
-Dropping a deuce.
-Drop the friends off at the lake.
-Prairie Dogging it.
What do you say when you gotta go?
SESSION 1 Shoulder
